Dear Diary,

I have come to the conclusion that I am one smart S.O.B. No seriously ... I have been thinking about it for quite some time and have realized that either I am exceptionally smart or this world is filled with morons.

Also, I work with some really funny people. I mean a lot of people think that editors are very dry, humorless people but I have proof otherwise. See below:

Dear coworkers,

In an effort to make my delightful piece of zucchini bread even more savory, I intended to purloin a spread of Smart Choice (non-trans-fatty-acids, synthetic butter substitute) from the inside of the 2nd floor refrigerator door. Upon uncovering the container, imagine my surprise to find a thriving, complex, and ancient(?) civilization of mold. According to established anthropological "first contact" guidelines, I confiscated their wealth, conscripted the inhabitants, took credit for their mathematical and scientific discoveries, and discarded the container in the big, black rubbish bin.

Hope that wasn't somebody's "Grow Your Own Penicillin" starter kit.

Signed,
An Editor

See what I mean?
Squeeky