You know, our local medieval fair scares the fuck out of me. Seriously, are there that many delusional people in this world?!? Do these people honestly believe that black spandex with bright blue lighting slashes underneath a tunic top with a belt is medieval attire? Come on, really?! Really? I am just shocked that there are that many people that think it is just awesome to don their favorite black cloak, slap on a scabbard and sword, and head on down to the local park for a day fun! Now don't get me wrong, I am all for a bit of escapism and/or retreat from reality every once in a while, but I don't like encountering men in spandex tights with cod pieces meant only to boost their wavering egos. Seriously, it is frightening to come across a 5 foot man with an extraordinarily large cod piece. YIKES!! Also, far too many skanks roaming around in wings claiming to be fairies. Listen sister, I am not sure what kind of dust you are peddling, but this chick don't want none of it! Oh and while I'm at it, listen it's like 50 degrees out here, put some freaking shoes on would ya?

Stay with me, just a couple more items... since when did elephant rides become "medieval"? Oh and I just loved ye old slice of Mazzio's pizza and ye old funnel cakes or ye old bacon burger with foot long curly fries and ye old Pepsi to wash it down. But best of all, I loved ye old Dan's Indian Taco, that truly was the highlight of my medieval fair visit this year.

Okay, now that I am done bashing, I do have to say that there was one chick walking around on stilts in some sort of large tree costume that actually fascinated me. I mean seriously, that shit was cool! AND she was very nice to my nephew and let me take his picture with her. He was quite smitten!

Thanks Medieval Fair, for a day of laughs and ye old sasparilly!

Your wench forever,
Squeeky