well hello there ...
Staring into the Silence
Monday, Nov. 26, 2001
2:42 PM

My house was so damn quiet yesterday after he left that I thought for a while I had gone deaf. The silence broke my heart and made me wish that the weekend had never ended. At some point I realized that I was sitting on my couch staring at the wall and remembering him sitting in my chair while I sat on the arm. His arms around me while we talked about what we were going to do that day. When I finally snapped out of it, 30 minutes had passed and I realized that I missed him being here so much that I physically ached to have him by my side. If I thought it was bad before he came out here - well this is a thousand times worse because now I know what is missing - and it is killing me to be away from him.

He told me on the phone last night that he almost didn't get on the plane for Atlanta. I wanted to tell him that I wish he hadn't, but I knew (and know) that it is something that had to be done. He had to go home and attend to things so that when he does finally move, it will be with no loose ends or burned bridges.

He told his mom last night that we were getting married. She and his father were delighted. We told my mom while he was here. Now I just have to call my dad tonight and talk to him about it. I know that there is no way I can marry him without Daddy meeting him first. No, not because Daddy won't allow it but because I want Dad and Deanna to meet him and see for themselves just how wonderful he is. I can only tell them that so many times, they really just have to meet him in person.

It is taking every ounce of will power I have to not get carried away with all this "wedding nonsense" and go hawg-wild! I mean, BELIEVE ME, I am keeping a level head and making sure that I (and we) think everything through, but you know how there are times in your life when you just know something is right and you just can't see any sense in waiting around for it? I honestly believe that this is one of those times. Seems crazy huh? Well I thought so too at first, but now I just realize that this was meant to be and it all seems a little less crazy when you think of it that way.

I really do miss him like crazy!
Squeeky

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